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Natural Beauty

Just friends...

Ive tried and Ive tried, time and time again to LIKE someone else but I simply cannot! its hard to get to know someone when your heart is with one person.   BEING SINGLE sucks when you know what or for a better choice of words WHO you want.

If i had one wish, it would be to know that you feel the same way for me as I do for you.  Your actions are showing me this, but your word would just top it off.  I know that sounds pretty backwards because actions speak louder then words, but understanding makes all the difference.

 Previously you told me you didn't want to be more then friends but your actions show that you are so into me the way I am with you, or is that all in my mind!

Damn this is frustrating, I just wanna be the center of your world.

this song explains My feelings for you in its entirety

 

and i dont wanna be just your dam good friend
I wanna be you HER, yours and you MINE 😔😔

Until next time.

your frustrated
Natural Beauty

I Was Here (United Nations World Humanitarian Day Perform...

This is what I call living! not going out and getting drunk, smoking so much weed you become extra functional while under the influence but touching the hearts and lives of so many people that you are REMEMBER!!  If i never said it anywhere else, I'm saying it here.... all i want is to be remembered for something extra ordinary, i wanna touch the lives of people that I am missed and my dream will carry on.  I want to make the world a little better because I was here!!


Natural Beauty

59. 5 Reasons Not To Sleep With Him

Natural Beauty

Explore Modeling - Leona Editorial Shoot: Indigo McCoy

Explore Modeling - Leona Editorial Shoot: Indigo McCoy
VOTE FOR ME!!!
Natural Beauty

What this girl wants

A few weeks back, I got a little upset because someone told me what they wanted, and in the message he said, "I just don't know what you wanted from me."

This is when I pause!  What I want?  damn it man. I don't need you to give me anything.  I can provide for my damn self thank you very much!!

But since that talk, I have been doing nothing but thinking (what i do best) and i realized, i do have wants because no matter how much i can provide for myself, a little companionship never hurt anyone.

I realized that i want someone who when they find out I'm sick comes to see me just to caress my hair and put me to sleep.

               I want someone who will call me just to hear my voice not to really tell me anything but just to say hey!

                    I want someone who can make me laugh mid day for no reason at all!
                         I want someone who can meet my class with his swagg and when we go out we breaking everyones neck.
                             I want a great hugger and an amazing kisser! (a simple kiss to the forehead every once in a while)

      Im interested in a MAN
           an educated man, with ambition for days, with a strong faith and great goals.
            who will enjoy my natural beauty but also adore my made-up face
someone who will enjoy my corny horrible jokes, but still laugh!

My wants are not money things, hell you don't even have to be my boyfriend... Just be my Boo thang...

until next time
Natural Beauty

whats your plan?

This is it! the time is now.  We Have to make a plan.  I tell myself, "Indigo, you are 21 years old.  What do you want to do with your life?" then i sit down and brain storm about what I want to go down... how I want it to go down and then I WRITE it down.

- I will become a successful  Journalist
-I will become a successful actress
- I will create a memorable woman
- I will not die before making a difference in the world

And the list is still growing! Just keep your eyes peeled for me! It'll be worth the wait!

Natural Beauty

So he txt'd me

So the other day he text'd me
yeah my ex boyfriend from about a year ago
and he explained to me why he broke up with me
yeah my feeling were hurt! and still are
but come on for you're ex girlfriend...
apart of me wishes you never even bothered to hit me up. maybe id be ok... better not knowing
was it really worth it?

why did you waste your breath telling me you loved me?
LOVE?
oh how love is soooo overrated... nd thats why that would be tatted on a finger of mine because its NOT REAL

it can't be... if it was... why would it hurt so much!
why does like even hurt so much, sheesh....

yeah so he txt'd me...
trying to make this work

sorry but if you broke up with someone you "loved" for a past relationship because of SEX then we won't work now... cause I'm celibate! bam


Natural Beauty

im tired of the bull shit

Im getting so frustrated. LIKE SERIOUSLY! i just want what I can't have and i feel like this is only getting worst. i feel annoying as hell to everyone yet no one has told me i am ! I just wanna crawl in a ball and be by myself because thats how its gonna be or seems that way.  Why doesn't happiness come to those who deserve it most! i deserve it I want it but i don't wanna seem desperate to get it from the one person i want.  THis is so freaking aggravating... apart of me just wants to cry but i know that won't fix anything... and while i get my invites to stay with him, i still feel like I'm not the one who he really wants to be there. I'm digging my own hole.. i feel it. can someone just kick me in and make this all go away! sheesh! i really did lose my best friend. borders were crossed that shouldn't have now i talk to him about stuff we use to talk about it and he clearly feels awkward... i want some sort of answer in my dream tonight! something telling me to fall back. whether i stay away from twitter or what ever just wanna feel missed or needed cause i don't... not even the least bit from ppl who should or i think should at least! ughh a shot is in order right now.. too bad i have class tomorrow! =/ maybe tuesday!!! night!

Natural Beauty

Damn

Damn yo
his absence left me alone with my thoughts
and my thoughts kinda went like this

He's messing with someone else
no better yet he went back to the "lil girl"
i mean thats cool cause then we will be just friends again
and then maybe i can take up that date.

But I really liked him
but good thing i didn't fall completely head over heels
cause then this would be bad news bears part two

Good job indigo.
Damn he aint even thinking bout me
wth did i do?
you didn't do anything Indigo

wait *phone rings*
oh sh*t its him nd its not a txt its a call

Conversation:
me: hello
him: (sexy voice) Hey lil lady what you up too
me: nothing watching the game
him: ok well I'm on the turnpike be home shortly. we have a long night nd i still gotta catch up on the game but you'll probably be asleep by then
me: alright let me know when you get home
(a little small talk)
him: ill txt you when i get home
me: ok

so back to my thoughts
maybe he does still care or he's putting up a good front
GEEZS i just want all of someone ... its about that time!

When will I ever find mr. right because mr right nows keep popping up in my pictures
& honestly I'm kinda over it!

Until next time =/
Natural Beauty

20 Y. O

They always say your youth is the times of your life.  Well my 19-20 years have been very stressful.  Financially, education wise, figuring out myself... man its a lot. still don't know what I'm gonna do when i graduate and HELLO INDIGO.  I graduate this year!

I hope 21 brings me more! and i want 21 to be the TIME of my life and take the past and make it all more and more of a living experience!

Natural Beauty

WOW!

Today, was really something else.  I saw him, and oh how that trip down memory lane just didn't seem so distant.

It was not distant only because, I go down it ever so often.  But seeing him did make me miss the old him and when there was an us but it didn't make me miss how hard i got played.
I honestly am my biggest critic, but as i told one of my good friends, after losing him i just simply feel like I'm simply not good enough for "my type" of guy or any potential. In the mist of telling one of my guy friends this, whom i secretly have a crush on, he fell asleep on me...  but any who

I'm glad i was able to speak to him to show that i am a bigger person but that fact that i still couldn't speak in a complete sentence because i was embarrassed just made it seem like i want him still which i don't i just wanna know why things didn't work out

after speaking to my friend in Florida who still manages to keep me level headed he made me feel better by keeping it real with me! his friend ship is and always will be greatly appreciated.... but until i get this other opinion i need i'm over and out!

Peace, love and beauty!

Natural Beauty

Gossip

I'm stuck here thinking when i should be doing homework or sleeping. but last night when i was expected to tell some news that i was so very unclear on. Why do people still gossip? Not gonna lie I do it all the time but i want to know why it happens? Id rather not talk about anyone. and now that it is bought to my attention i am def. gonna try and stop and yet in fact when i feel the need to gossip im going to do research in my future field of interest! hmpp

Ive been enjoying these recent reality checks i've been getting. <3

Until next time

Natural Beauty

-__-

(As i wrote this tears formed but I couldn't let my  weakness show so i spilled it on to a piece of paper)

Although i know he is the biggest ass hole i know, apart of me still wants him.  I am trying my hardest not let my memory of him effect my relationship with other way better guys but the taint idea of as well as any one I met VIA him makes me think of him and leaves me hurting again.  The memory of that night cant seem to be erased from my mind.  I honestly just wanna be happy again just like December 10th 2010.  The happiest girl on earth was laying down with the man of her dreams and just like that it all ended.  No explanation no nothing.  Sometimes makes me question if I am that bad of a person and potential girlfriend especially thinking about how long i've been single but i dont wanna put all the blame on me.  I guess I messed up and I got played yet again but I just wanna move and Jump start my career, be wealthy, happy and model.  *crosses fingers and hopes the man upstairs hears my wishes and helps answer them*.  Sooner then later would be nice

Until then =/

Natural Beauty

eff love!

"I cant stay away from you too long, even when i do  I'll always call. Checking on you to make sure your okay. Be the one to brighten up my day. YEAH YEAH! and the point of it all is I love you"

Oh that damn word LOVE! so often misused and abused and I am proud to say that LOVE dont live here no more.

Love died with my first official boyfriend, it died with my second boyfriend too who might i add was 5 years older then me and told me he LOVED and left me for his ex girlfriend, LOVE is gone.

Well relationship wise it is!

Love is like that ball that gets kicked around during that game of soccer, once it reaches your toe you have the opportunity to score and once you score you dont care about the ball anymore because now its in the other persons court.

Love. man oh man LOVE i could live with out you LOVE. why you ask? because LOVE can causes pain, pain that leaves a scar... an unwanted scar and while feelings are attached Love leaves you open.

Man I wanna think that i can Love again and NO im not saying i am gonna give the next guy a hard time.... i just cant see the LOVE anymore....

But LOVE  is a stupid son of mother nature because while your surrounded with it , its hard to avoid.. This feeling sucks and I'm tired of crying because of LOVE I'm tired of wondering because of LOVE, I'm tired of it all.  

The last guy, i had a strong like for but i recently admitted that i suffered a heart break and in order for me to have had a heart break i had to feel LOVE... but i wont admit that i found LOVE but i did find hope and potential to have fallen for him....

But LOVE DONT LIVE HERE NO MORE!

i wont be susceptible to any man who uses LOVE and my name in a sentence at least not right now... find me in about 5 to 6 years and maybe just maybe my attitude will change because as of right now...hiphop is alive!  LOVE is dead!

My next lover will be my own success!

until next time

brat

gosh darnit!   Im a brat! thats right i said it!


i hate complaining but i do feel the need to let this out.


While girls are suppose to be tidy, I CANT STAND a messy girl!
 if we live together, I'm gonna expect for you to keep tidy, and clean up after yourself. 


Not my roommates exactly but extra house mates. yes your company is welcomed BUT HELLL NO your mess isnt


if you see the garbage is full, take the shit out dont keep piling mess on top. thats STUPID and then you wanna complain when the house is a mess!
we dont hire the little Mexicans to clean up after us so that means YES you pretty little girl you need to clean up after your self. like #c'monson


If the dishes are becoming a bit outta hand, you dont even have to hand wash them we have the luxury of having a dish washer drop that load in and put some CASCADE and turn the nozzle


all im saying is: Is it too much to ask for a little cleanliness now and days. I'm not ya momz homes I'm NOT gonna be cleaning after you


My next living situation when im on my own... I WILL live by my self. I cannot do this again! but i shall tolerate for another year.  Oh and when i say by myself i mean my own BACHELORETTE pad! and it will be too my liking. no man needed no roommates. JUST ME ... Indigo Nashea by my self!


ok i think im done for now. 
until next time
Natural Beauty

happyyy :)

summer timee!

 i love this season. nd it seems that OUT  with the cold weather so did my sadness, loneliness and sorrow and in came a smile. a smile that i havent seen since i was last happy.. last year. the l "glow" is back and  im gladd to have it. feeling good about school. feeling even better about life only thing i need to figure out now is what im gonna do with my life. of course i know what i wanna be but i need to make a plan and steps to get closer to achieving those goals.

with a smile i say i am extremely happy and cheerful
new found motivation and drive has fallin upon me and this could only get  better.

thanking the man upstairs for the enlightenment and letting him know i greatly appreciate it.

thank you and untnil next time
its your favorite Beauty

Indigo Nashea =)

My heros

So it wasn't until this weekend that I realized how much of an impact two little girls had on my life.

After the loss of their young beautiful mother (March 21, 2011),and saying their final goodbyes (March 26,2011)  they both stayed the weekend with me and held their composure so well. To be so young (13 and 10) and losing someone so close and so precious to them, these two young ladies have given me a great strength.  I applaud them and also give my heart to them more then before.

Tee Tee and Daejah I love you both so very much and never forget if there is ever anything you need , dont hesitate to ask me.  I am your big sister and will always be here for you.

Sincerely yours
Natural Beauty

Yellow shirt day: Support Endometriosis

Natural Beauty

flaws and all

I am selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control and at times hard to handle but if you can't take me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best !

Natural Beauty