-__-

(As i wrote this tears formed but I couldn't let my  weakness show so i spilled it on to a piece of paper)

Although i know he is the biggest ass hole i know, apart of me still wants him.  I am trying my hardest not let my memory of him effect my relationship with other way better guys but the taint idea of as well as any one I met VIA him makes me think of him and leaves me hurting again.  The memory of that night cant seem to be erased from my mind.  I honestly just wanna be happy again just like December 10th 2010.  The happiest girl on earth was laying down with the man of her dreams and just like that it all ended.  No explanation no nothing.  Sometimes makes me question if I am that bad of a person and potential girlfriend especially thinking about how long i've been single but i dont wanna put all the blame on me.  I guess I messed up and I got played yet again but I just wanna move and Jump start my career, be wealthy, happy and model.  *crosses fingers and hopes the man upstairs hears my wishes and helps answer them*.  Sooner then later would be nice

Until then =/

Natural Beauty

eff love!

"I cant stay away from you too long, even when i do  I'll always call. Checking on you to make sure your okay. Be the one to brighten up my day. YEAH YEAH! and the point of it all is I love you"

Oh that damn word LOVE! so often misused and abused and I am proud to say that LOVE dont live here no more.

Love died with my first official boyfriend, it died with my second boyfriend too who might i add was 5 years older then me and told me he LOVED and left me for his ex girlfriend, LOVE is gone.

Well relationship wise it is!

Love is like that ball that gets kicked around during that game of soccer, once it reaches your toe you have the opportunity to score and once you score you dont care about the ball anymore because now its in the other persons court.

Love. man oh man LOVE i could live with out you LOVE. why you ask? because LOVE can causes pain, pain that leaves a scar... an unwanted scar and while feelings are attached Love leaves you open.

Man I wanna think that i can Love again and NO im not saying i am gonna give the next guy a hard time.... i just cant see the LOVE anymore....

But LOVE  is a stupid son of mother nature because while your surrounded with it , its hard to avoid.. This feeling sucks and I'm tired of crying because of LOVE I'm tired of wondering because of LOVE, I'm tired of it all.  

The last guy, i had a strong like for but i recently admitted that i suffered a heart break and in order for me to have had a heart break i had to feel LOVE... but i wont admit that i found LOVE but i did find hope and potential to have fallen for him....

But LOVE DONT LIVE HERE NO MORE!

i wont be susceptible to any man who uses LOVE and my name in a sentence at least not right now... find me in about 5 to 6 years and maybe just maybe my attitude will change because as of right now...hiphop is alive!  LOVE is dead!

My next lover will be my own success!

until next time

brat

gosh darnit!   Im a brat! thats right i said it!


i hate complaining but i do feel the need to let this out.


While girls are suppose to be tidy, I CANT STAND a messy girl!
 if we live together, I'm gonna expect for you to keep tidy, and clean up after yourself. 


Not my roommates exactly but extra house mates. yes your company is welcomed BUT HELLL NO your mess isnt


if you see the garbage is full, take the shit out dont keep piling mess on top. thats STUPID and then you wanna complain when the house is a mess!
we dont hire the little Mexicans to clean up after us so that means YES you pretty little girl you need to clean up after your self. like #c'monson


If the dishes are becoming a bit outta hand, you dont even have to hand wash them we have the luxury of having a dish washer drop that load in and put some CASCADE and turn the nozzle


all im saying is: Is it too much to ask for a little cleanliness now and days. I'm not ya momz homes I'm NOT gonna be cleaning after you


My next living situation when im on my own... I WILL live by my self. I cannot do this again! but i shall tolerate for another year.  Oh and when i say by myself i mean my own BACHELORETTE pad! and it will be too my liking. no man needed no roommates. JUST ME ... Indigo Nashea by my self!


ok i think im done for now. 
until next time
Natural Beauty

happyyy :)

summer timee!

 i love this season. nd it seems that OUT  with the cold weather so did my sadness, loneliness and sorrow and in came a smile. a smile that i havent seen since i was last happy.. last year. the l "glow" is back and  im gladd to have it. feeling good about school. feeling even better about life only thing i need to figure out now is what im gonna do with my life. of course i know what i wanna be but i need to make a plan and steps to get closer to achieving those goals.

with a smile i say i am extremely happy and cheerful
new found motivation and drive has fallin upon me and this could only get  better.

thanking the man upstairs for the enlightenment and letting him know i greatly appreciate it.

thank you and untnil next time
its your favorite Beauty

Indigo Nashea =)

My heros

So it wasn't until this weekend that I realized how much of an impact two little girls had on my life.

After the loss of their young beautiful mother (March 21, 2011),and saying their final goodbyes (March 26,2011)  they both stayed the weekend with me and held their composure so well. To be so young (13 and 10) and losing someone so close and so precious to them, these two young ladies have given me a great strength.  I applaud them and also give my heart to them more then before.

Tee Tee and Daejah I love you both so very much and never forget if there is ever anything you need , dont hesitate to ask me.  I am your big sister and will always be here for you.

Sincerely yours
Natural Beauty

Yellow shirt day: Support Endometriosis

Natural Beauty

flaws and all

I am selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control and at times hard to handle but if you can't take me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best !

Natural Beauty